I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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