just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
