so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.