JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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