is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
