Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
