I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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