that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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