yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
