I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I woke up under a house in Key West
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