You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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