Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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