Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
