making cat noises will not fix the situation.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
