Swine flu. Run for my life!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
