I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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