i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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