That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
