Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick

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(585): View more from New York

I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

(1-585): View more from New York

You are so irish.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that

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(818): View more from California

I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?

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(714): View more from California

I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�

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(518): View more from New York

Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.

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(940): View more from Texas

My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.

(817): View more from Texas

Your life rocks...

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Can you come over?

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Sex??

(615): View more from Tennessee

Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.

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