Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz

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(818): View more from California

this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?

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(770): View more from Georgia

I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.

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(368): View more from

you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.

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(407): View more from Florida

I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?

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(228): View more from Mississippi

My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.

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