Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
