You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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