Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
