my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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