Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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