It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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