omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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