Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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