the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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