Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize