Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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