So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so let's talk penis.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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