Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
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You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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