Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
