dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dignity is for republicans.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
