Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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