Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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