soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
