Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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