Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
They have beer where we have blood.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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