This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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