I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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