oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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