i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Quick, to the slutcave!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
