dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
