I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
