Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
ugly people sure do ruin things
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
