Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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