Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
