DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize