Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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