She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
