All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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