who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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