OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
