have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize