so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
