doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
