The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
