Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can I color on your dick again?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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