A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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