Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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